It happened again
The discrimination (read: Eurocentric gaze and inbuilt attitude)
and the Jantelaw.
The worst part being the passport control.

The transformation
as I took the first step into the flight gate towards Denmark.
With that very step
everything inside of me changed.
Someone was calling me from within.
Crying and screaming.

I had forgotten it all this time.

I had been away.

I was unguarded for once,
as life was so easy before this room.
I wasn’t prepared and suddenly all the rules taking place outside of me
Entered, took over inside of me and locked the door.
I tried to be tough and strong to protect myself,
But once again I had been beaten by Jantelaw.
And taking myself into the plane I was desperately trying to look back to where I came from.
As well as finding fellow-spirited ”others” that had the same anxiety in their gaze as I had.
I got on the plane decisive not to speak one word of Danish.

It’s not a new thing.
I have done this before.

I might be regarded as a traitor and ungrateful, like the Turkish cat, for my own double background.
Double-happiness.
Double double double
EVERYTHING.
But it exhaust me and takes over my body,
I am already a hostage.
From this point on no one will ask me “if im ok”.

Being.
Existing.
Being here.
Staying.
Leaving.
Accepting.
Being away.
Being back.
Never returning.
Always being home somewhere else.
FAR AWAY FROM HERE!

(Welcome home to Denmark foreigner!)